Why Teenagers Take Risks
Adolescence is really a time of so many changes. And one of those is that teenagers are seeking to identify who they are as an individual. And a part of that process involves risk taking.
So, the first thing we need to realize is that risk taking is normal at that stage. However, risk taking can be positive such as trying out new sports or creative activities. Or they may be negative and these are the ones we see, notice and really worry about.
And these things may be a risk to their health. You know things like using drugs or alcohol, unprotected sex, staying out late at night and thinking “Oh nothing will happen to me,” or maybe even staying out all night.
Although a teenager may have the body of an adult it’s recently been proven that their brain is not fully developed until they’re in their early to mid twenties. I think it’s about the age of twenty-four in most young people.
So, they don’t rationalize what they’re doing. And they have this sense of, this incredible sense of instability with the belief that they won’t die until they’re old.
So, parents need to first need to first of all have a look at their risk taking behaviors. Remember , teenagers are always watching you and imitating you. We have to remember that drugs include things like alcohol. And a lot of parents forget that and that they’re modeling risk taking behavior.
I’ll give you an example. Jared came to me and he was worried when he found out that his son was going off to the park with his friends and drinking alcohol almost every night. They were just sitting in the park and chatting but also drinking alcohol and sometimes coming home intoxicated.
So, after some discussion with Jared in one of our sessions I found out for years that every day when Jared comes home from work his wife gives him a whisky to relax. And that’s how it’s described. I just have a whisky to relax after my long day at work.
So, we had a long hard talk about this. And the next day after work Jared sat with his son and said to him, “Hey I’ve realized that I’ve developed a really, really bad habit. I’m having a drink every day and I’ve decided I’m stopping straight away. I really don’t need to drink to relax and I’ve got myself into this habit”
So, what Jared had done there was he’d shown his son that he wasn’t infallible and that he was able to correct what he was doing. He also showed him “Hey son, I mess up sometimes too but I’m able to look at it and change what I’m doing. I don’t have to just stay on that same pathway.”
So, rather than be judgmental of his son he was able to say, “Learn from me son. Don’t develop a bad habit that may be hard to stop.”
Teenagers are learning from us all the time, learning bad habits and learning good habits. You know teenagers generally look to their parents for advice, modeling and how to assess risks. So, communication’s got to be open and without ordering or judgment. So that teens are going to listen and learn how to assess risks.
Because let’s face it, there are risks in everything we do whether it’s just getting into a car. When I get into my car to drive to work that’s a risk. It’s a risk that I assess just the same as getting into a car with a group of teenagers. That would certainly be a different risk assessment for me.
And what you need to be showing them is that there are a variety of consequences for every risk you take. And some risks are okay because they’re not going to generally result in serious injury to your health.
You know most smoking, drinking and taking drugs takes place in a peer group. So, one of the most important things is that you’re encouraging your kids to bring their friends home so that you can see what they’re doing, and so that you know their friends. This is why it’s so important for your kids to have a good group of friends who are healthy role models.
They also need to have a good level of self-esteem. Because this gives them the confidence that when they are in a situation of peer pressure that they’re able to say NO when they really want to.
However all of these behaviors can escalate and this is when I sometimes get to see “at risk teens”. When unhealthy risk taking falls into a pattern and it’s no longer something that you can work through with open communication in the family you need assistance.
Dangerous teenage risk taking, especially when it’s frequent and it includes a number of behaviors all at once, like drinking, driving recklessly, excessive dieting is a warning sign. Excessive dieting is risk taking behavior or it could be more obvious like self mutilation, stealing. These are often accompanied by depression and falling of grades at school. This is the time that you need to urgently talk to the school, find out what’s happening there. Then see your doctor as soon as
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