7 Ways to Improve your Relationships
Will this be your “Year of the Relationship”? Here’s hoping! Whether it’s learning to love and accept yourself, meeting your soul mate, connecting with elders or reaching out to children, relationships are the measure of a life well spent. How do yours measure up?
All in the family
Relationship rules change as kids grow up and parents age. Responsibility falls to adult children to reach out to their siblings and to parents. “For so much of life, parents learn how to let go of their children. At some point the children need to reach back out to their parents,” to check their well-being, reassure and just talk, said Joyce Gallagher, commissioner of the city’s Department on Aging. “One of the greatest things I learned, and it was through personal experience later in life — my dad had a problem with memory — was not to correct. It wasn’t important to try to get the date right or circumstance. It was important to just listen. [By] breaking into the conversation, you ruin the connection.
Seniors have so much to share and so much information that can be useful if people just take the time to listen.” Gallagher is the mother of 10 children who have all been in each other’s weddings and are godparents to each other’s children. One key to harmony among siblings? “We don’t talk about another person unless they are in the room,” Gallagher said.
For the love of children
“I love these girls with every part of my being. I didn’t know you could feel this way about other people’s children,” Oprah Winfrey said this week at the dedication of her new school in South Africa. Her comment reminds us that there are many ways to be a caring adult in the life of a child: through volunteering, working in careers such as teaching, day care or pediatric medicine — even foster parenting. Single men and women who yearn for kids have more options than any previous generation. This may be the year to seriously consider adoption or begin lining up the finances and support network for single parenthood. Gillian McNamee, professor and director of teacher education at Chicago’s Erikson Institute, says when it comes to strengthening relationships with children, there is no substitute for spending time together. As children get older and more independent, that age-old wisdom becomes more of a challenge. “I’ve heard parents lament that their child is upstairs e-mailing,” McNamee said. “So e-mail your kid, say, ‘I’m making a great supper for you. Hope you’ll be down soon.’ Or leave a voice mail on the cell phone when a child is at school. A message that says I’m thinking of you, I really like something you’re doing right now, is a wonderful thing to do. It takes one minute of time.” McNamee “willingly” drives her child’s car pool (and brings a bag of cookies.) “That’s always a total hit,” she says.
Embraceable YOU
There’s nothing wrong with developing a healthy relationship with yourself. After all, who spends more time with you than YOU? Besides, it’s pretty tough to establish a positive bond with anyone else if you don’t love and cherish yourself, idiosyncrasies and all. Maybe the fictional Carrie Bradshaw said it best on the final episode of “Sex and the City”: “Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”
To have and hold onto
Love is the ultimate human experience. A solid relationship with your spouse or lover is your heart and your foundation, your comfort and joy. Marriage counselors constantly remind couples, whether newlyweds or long-term partners, to take time and care to nurture this central relationship. If this one falters, the repercussions will touch all your other important relationships, from children to extended family and even into the workplace. Too often, our love partner is the very person we most take for granted. Sun-Times relationship columnist Laura Berman (right) says, “Make it a priority to give your partner five genuine thank yous and five genuine compliments every day, and at least one 10-second kiss.” She urges couples — especially those with children — to make “date night” a priority. For those looking for love, Berman recommends dating coach Nancy Slotnick’s book Turn Your Cablight On (Gotham, ). “You have to put the message out there that you’re available,” Berman says, “in terms of how you feel about yourself, carry yourself and go about your day-to-day life. That includes mixing
Additional reading on education degrees and teaching degrees college:
- Managing the Risk in Relationships
Managing the Risk in Relationships I started Entre Nous Introduction Agency Melbourne, Australia (later changed to Entre Nous Relationship Consultants & Educators) 13th March 1991. We were successful... - Common Communication Mistakes in Relationships
Common Communication Mistakes in Relationships Article by Peter Murphy People often wonder what is the most important aspect of a relationship. Is it compatibility? Having things in... - A Student-Teacher’s Reflection on School Relationships
Student teaching provides students with a hands-on opportunity to get a taste of teaching before they begin their career as an educator and creates opportunities for individuals...
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